In June 2020 I was in a New York grocery store. Everyone was masked, as was the custom at the time, and I proceeded about my business. In the produce section one man had his mask pulled below his chin. In my neighborhood that was abnormal then, at the grocers, so I politely asked him to pull it up. He flipped out, cursing at me and following me around the store. It went beyond being angry at me, it was as if the last little straw holding the man together had been undone. I thought, momentarily, that he was out of his mind. The second he saw a worker, however, he got it together and pretended everything was fine. Then after checking out he followed me down the street and yelled at me for two blocks.
what a thoughtful and succinct essay. when people feel abandoned—by the capitalistic patriarchal white supremacist systems which deliberately harm all of us—a lot of people end up abandoning each other.
i've felt the same impulse in myself to judge strangers for being "rude," but i'm trying to remind myself that probably everyone is having an understandably shitty day and it wouldn't hurt to be kinder to the folks i interact with.
people are so genuinely surprised when i do something as simple (to me) as holding the door open for them; if the system is so cruel as to make people think they don't deserve care, then i'll make a point to show/provide it every chance i get.
Well said. I have to admit it's chronically frustrating watching people turn on one another and ignoring the real reasons we're all under such incredible stress, but I do live in a very conservative area so have to give a lot of grace for differing expectations, and there's also this great line in Tyson Yunkaporta's book "Sand Talk" about how little good it does anyone to be critical of people surviving at the margins of society for the choices they make (the definitions of which of course vary).
Joshua, this is an excellently reasoned essay. It's thoughtful, and expresses quite precisely why we're where we're at. I've never been able to express these ideas, though I've often ruminated on this subject. Thank you for giving them voice!
I love the social contract that most of us live by, and wonder about how different that is for the ruling class. It's sad to see how the one we live by is degenerating, and important that it's written about. Thanks for doing this, Joshua.
Also -- I really don't like to use his name, but I think Donald Trump is in some part responsible for this dissolution of the social contract and civility. As the most visible leader in the country, he set the bar or rather he completely took the bar down. He modeled (and continues to model) saying the most harmful, destructive things. This seemed to take the lid off for every other racist misogynist angry white man to do whatever the hell they pleased. And don't even get me started on how he weaponized masks during the pandemic.
I'm glad someone is calling out the root causes, instead of squarely placing the blame on individual choices. When the system abandon us, we feel we have no other choice but to become self-preservationism. There is an alternative world where when the system fails us, the community preserves us. Your article is so thoughtful, it reminded me of another one I read about this topic that you may find interesting: https://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2023/09/us-culture-moral-education-formation/674765/
This is excellent and insightful, thank you! I think this breakdown has been particularly highlighted recently by community fractures around the pandemic (and the inexcusable failure of governments to implement adequate protection while we are still struggling to understand the long-term implications of SARS-CoV-2) and the genocide in Gaza (and the inexcusable failure of governments to take decisive action to stop Israel). (As a side note, there is growing evidence that brain damage resulting from COVID is causing people to behave in different and alarming ways.)
I don't know what the answer is to all this, but I think that restoring a sense of community and remembering how to care for each other, whether near or far, is a critical part of it.
This is something I have been thinking about for a while, I really appreciate your ability to start the conversation and then propose how we can change. What scares me most is that this "broken contract" may signify in a very clear way the accelerated decline of our Roman Empire. Who knows what the United States will be 50 years from now, that part may feel out of our control, but we can at least try to do good to others and create a new contract that helps us rise from whatever pits we have currently fallen into.
Adam Wilson (author of the Peasantry School newsletter) said this week that the essence of modernity / capitalism is the normalisation of ingratitude. I feel like this gets to the heart of what is 'going wrong' - our engagement with the world as consumers rather than citizens or community members no longer requires us to notice or care about the web of other people / other life that sustains our being.
Great subject and essay. I'm curious, do you have any ideas for how to rebuild the social contract? Everything I can think of is either just individual manners or problems so complex (car culture, hyper-individualism, the hamster wheel of daily survival powered by low wages and high rents) I don't know even how to think theoretically towards solutions.
I wanted to add more of that in here, so thank you for asking this! I think community organizing is one. Organizing that helps build bonds, and grounds them in spaces like gardens and community centers. Similarly, building worker coops and similar economic ventures where we begin to have more power and feel more empowered, and therefore like real players rather than pawns being tossed about. I do think other (slightly) less political activities like community movie nights and book clubs and the like also make a huge difference. Pubic housing policy also could have a dramatic impact, I think! New York legislators are proposing some interesting stuff there
Wonder how much the transparency that comes with the internet and cell phones, digital communications, has to do with it? Has life always been this way and we are now just more aware of and in step with it? Maybe somw, but I agree, these times are more crass, rude and violent. People are grabbing what they can and pushing people out of the way to get it. What do we choose to focus on, to celebrate? Materialism? Mayhem and spectacle? Art, grace, beauty? Science, food? Cats? There's probably a bunch of sea creatures no one has ever seen - I'd like to see a Survivor-like competition show that focuses on finding those creatures, understanding them and protecting their environment. But that's just me.
This is correct, but there's something more than that.
In the last 20-30 years it seems like a "cultivated self-concept" has been peddled and sold: "Everyone's An Idiot But Me". While cultural alienation has been a thing as long as there's been culture in America; this puts a new twist on it. The average American, in many places, now obscurely despises his neighbors in a way he had not before the 1980s; and has plenty of individually-targeted reinforcement for that attitude seeking his eye 24/7/365. It is connected to capitalism bc it sells; + also bc we are encouraged to see those not directly in our "pod of influence" as rivals, and thus enemies, which is peak capitalism, "the War of All Against All".
That habit of mind is now deeply driven in; and will be hard to ameliorate.
Not convinced that capitalism is the cause. IMO: (1) widespread reach of the internet which has allowed people to insult and yell at each other anonymously and nastily in ways they would never in person (that behavior has now seeped into actual in-person interactions); (2) bad faith actors and grifters in media and other walks of life (religious communities) who have stoked anger and ridicule for political and financial gain; (3) Trump and other politicians, mostly but not exclusively Republicans who have normalized hating and "othering" people because if you can dehumanize someone you can crap on them.
You noted yourself in your second point that it's related to "political and financial gain"; this points to capitalism. In your first point, you note that the internet has allowed people to insult, yell, be nasty; I urge you to consider why, and think you will come to see that it relates to uneven power dynamics, uneven social relations, etc, which conflict theory, dialectical materialism, historical materialism, etc. argue is in part a result of capitalism. Your third point is kinda the same point as your first, but within the sphere of electoral politics. If this is new to you, I'd recommend A Good Book, In Theory (Third Edition) by Sears & Cairns, and We Can Do Better by Camfield. Highly recommend both :)
I don't think that the social contract is an agreement to be civil. It's much more fundamental and serious than that. The social contract is the ruled saying to the rulers: "rule us fairly and don't you be making our lives miserable - otherwise we're coming at you with pitchforks and guns". In democracies the social contract is a provisional agreement by the people to set aside their arms, for so long as their votes work as an effective substitute.
Oh interesting, I like that version a bit more haha. I do think that contract has also been broken in much the same way, although the elite interests that have essentially captured the government is of course a slightly different project. I suppose I wanted to talk here primarily about how I see the phrase being used so that skewed things. Would you say the contract you mention is also defunct?
I'm of an age to have grown up with a belief that "the customer is always right." It was about 10 years ago that my Gen Z kids started questioning my interactions with people working at cash registers and behind counters. I thought I was polite; they thought I could and should be more so. They often will not ask those workers for things I've long assumed are part of the contract between customer and employees because they do not want to make the worker's day even harder than it already is. I came to really appreciate how they shifted my perspective and helped me see that things I long took to be "natural" or how things should be are--like so many things--a construct designed to serve a small minority who already have much more than the majority of us. Just as this essay does. I do miss a kind of civility that was once common and expected, but I appreciate being more critical in thinking about who deserves kindness, what kindness is, and how to offer it in meaningful ways.
what a thoughtful and succinct essay. when people feel abandoned—by the capitalistic patriarchal white supremacist systems which deliberately harm all of us—a lot of people end up abandoning each other.
i've felt the same impulse in myself to judge strangers for being "rude," but i'm trying to remind myself that probably everyone is having an understandably shitty day and it wouldn't hurt to be kinder to the folks i interact with.
people are so genuinely surprised when i do something as simple (to me) as holding the door open for them; if the system is so cruel as to make people think they don't deserve care, then i'll make a point to show/provide it every chance i get.
Well said. I have to admit it's chronically frustrating watching people turn on one another and ignoring the real reasons we're all under such incredible stress, but I do live in a very conservative area so have to give a lot of grace for differing expectations, and there's also this great line in Tyson Yunkaporta's book "Sand Talk" about how little good it does anyone to be critical of people surviving at the margins of society for the choices they make (the definitions of which of course vary).
Dang another book you've mentioned that it sounds like I need to read! Haha thank you seriously that line says it all
Oh, I'm full of them. (Book recommendations, that is, not great lines!)
I really loved this conversation with Tyson on the For The Wild podcast, he is so refreshingly straight talking (not to mention funny) as well as incredibly wise https://pca.st/episode/a2eb039c-9eca-45d1-94f2-69f4c1a2663d
Joshua, this is an excellently reasoned essay. It's thoughtful, and expresses quite precisely why we're where we're at. I've never been able to express these ideas, though I've often ruminated on this subject. Thank you for giving them voice!
I love the social contract that most of us live by, and wonder about how different that is for the ruling class. It's sad to see how the one we live by is degenerating, and important that it's written about. Thanks for doing this, Joshua.
Also -- I really don't like to use his name, but I think Donald Trump is in some part responsible for this dissolution of the social contract and civility. As the most visible leader in the country, he set the bar or rather he completely took the bar down. He modeled (and continues to model) saying the most harmful, destructive things. This seemed to take the lid off for every other racist misogynist angry white man to do whatever the hell they pleased. And don't even get me started on how he weaponized masks during the pandemic.
Agreed
I'm glad someone is calling out the root causes, instead of squarely placing the blame on individual choices. When the system abandon us, we feel we have no other choice but to become self-preservationism. There is an alternative world where when the system fails us, the community preserves us. Your article is so thoughtful, it reminded me of another one I read about this topic that you may find interesting: https://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2023/09/us-culture-moral-education-formation/674765/
This is excellent and insightful, thank you! I think this breakdown has been particularly highlighted recently by community fractures around the pandemic (and the inexcusable failure of governments to implement adequate protection while we are still struggling to understand the long-term implications of SARS-CoV-2) and the genocide in Gaza (and the inexcusable failure of governments to take decisive action to stop Israel). (As a side note, there is growing evidence that brain damage resulting from COVID is causing people to behave in different and alarming ways.)
I don't know what the answer is to all this, but I think that restoring a sense of community and remembering how to care for each other, whether near or far, is a critical part of it.
This is something I have been thinking about for a while, I really appreciate your ability to start the conversation and then propose how we can change. What scares me most is that this "broken contract" may signify in a very clear way the accelerated decline of our Roman Empire. Who knows what the United States will be 50 years from now, that part may feel out of our control, but we can at least try to do good to others and create a new contract that helps us rise from whatever pits we have currently fallen into.
Core values have become monetized beyond affordability.
Adam Wilson (author of the Peasantry School newsletter) said this week that the essence of modernity / capitalism is the normalisation of ingratitude. I feel like this gets to the heart of what is 'going wrong' - our engagement with the world as consumers rather than citizens or community members no longer requires us to notice or care about the web of other people / other life that sustains our being.
Great subject and essay. I'm curious, do you have any ideas for how to rebuild the social contract? Everything I can think of is either just individual manners or problems so complex (car culture, hyper-individualism, the hamster wheel of daily survival powered by low wages and high rents) I don't know even how to think theoretically towards solutions.
I wanted to add more of that in here, so thank you for asking this! I think community organizing is one. Organizing that helps build bonds, and grounds them in spaces like gardens and community centers. Similarly, building worker coops and similar economic ventures where we begin to have more power and feel more empowered, and therefore like real players rather than pawns being tossed about. I do think other (slightly) less political activities like community movie nights and book clubs and the like also make a huge difference. Pubic housing policy also could have a dramatic impact, I think! New York legislators are proposing some interesting stuff there
Wonder how much the transparency that comes with the internet and cell phones, digital communications, has to do with it? Has life always been this way and we are now just more aware of and in step with it? Maybe somw, but I agree, these times are more crass, rude and violent. People are grabbing what they can and pushing people out of the way to get it. What do we choose to focus on, to celebrate? Materialism? Mayhem and spectacle? Art, grace, beauty? Science, food? Cats? There's probably a bunch of sea creatures no one has ever seen - I'd like to see a Survivor-like competition show that focuses on finding those creatures, understanding them and protecting their environment. But that's just me.
This is correct, but there's something more than that.
In the last 20-30 years it seems like a "cultivated self-concept" has been peddled and sold: "Everyone's An Idiot But Me". While cultural alienation has been a thing as long as there's been culture in America; this puts a new twist on it. The average American, in many places, now obscurely despises his neighbors in a way he had not before the 1980s; and has plenty of individually-targeted reinforcement for that attitude seeking his eye 24/7/365. It is connected to capitalism bc it sells; + also bc we are encouraged to see those not directly in our "pod of influence" as rivals, and thus enemies, which is peak capitalism, "the War of All Against All".
That habit of mind is now deeply driven in; and will be hard to ameliorate.
Not convinced that capitalism is the cause. IMO: (1) widespread reach of the internet which has allowed people to insult and yell at each other anonymously and nastily in ways they would never in person (that behavior has now seeped into actual in-person interactions); (2) bad faith actors and grifters in media and other walks of life (religious communities) who have stoked anger and ridicule for political and financial gain; (3) Trump and other politicians, mostly but not exclusively Republicans who have normalized hating and "othering" people because if you can dehumanize someone you can crap on them.
Your three points all point to capitalism
Uh, no. But thanks for stopping by!
You noted yourself in your second point that it's related to "political and financial gain"; this points to capitalism. In your first point, you note that the internet has allowed people to insult, yell, be nasty; I urge you to consider why, and think you will come to see that it relates to uneven power dynamics, uneven social relations, etc, which conflict theory, dialectical materialism, historical materialism, etc. argue is in part a result of capitalism. Your third point is kinda the same point as your first, but within the sphere of electoral politics. If this is new to you, I'd recommend A Good Book, In Theory (Third Edition) by Sears & Cairns, and We Can Do Better by Camfield. Highly recommend both :)
I don't think that the social contract is an agreement to be civil. It's much more fundamental and serious than that. The social contract is the ruled saying to the rulers: "rule us fairly and don't you be making our lives miserable - otherwise we're coming at you with pitchforks and guns". In democracies the social contract is a provisional agreement by the people to set aside their arms, for so long as their votes work as an effective substitute.
Oh interesting, I like that version a bit more haha. I do think that contract has also been broken in much the same way, although the elite interests that have essentially captured the government is of course a slightly different project. I suppose I wanted to talk here primarily about how I see the phrase being used so that skewed things. Would you say the contract you mention is also defunct?
I would, yes.
I'm of an age to have grown up with a belief that "the customer is always right." It was about 10 years ago that my Gen Z kids started questioning my interactions with people working at cash registers and behind counters. I thought I was polite; they thought I could and should be more so. They often will not ask those workers for things I've long assumed are part of the contract between customer and employees because they do not want to make the worker's day even harder than it already is. I came to really appreciate how they shifted my perspective and helped me see that things I long took to be "natural" or how things should be are--like so many things--a construct designed to serve a small minority who already have much more than the majority of us. Just as this essay does. I do miss a kind of civility that was once common and expected, but I appreciate being more critical in thinking about who deserves kindness, what kindness is, and how to offer it in meaningful ways.